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Keyboards   
01:22pm 03/04/2008
 

Okay, I am not all that technically knowledgeable, I don't keep up to date on all the latest gadgets and such.  Only what I hear my friends talk about of if I hear of something in passing that sounds interesting to me.  But hasn't anyone thought of making a multi lingual keyboard?  I was looking around on-line but so far... to no avail.  Just bilingual.  I mean am I really going to have to have 3 keyboards if I want to be able to type in Chinese, Japanese and Korean? X_x

 
     

(1 Tear Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
*DOH*   
01:26pm 13/03/2008
 
mood: clumsy

You know you are tired when.... you tried to drink your coffee and poke yourself in the eye with the spoon. @_o

 
     

(Want Me To Remember?)

 
Everything Burns   
10:40am 13/03/2008
 
mood: determined
Everything Burns - Ben Moody ft. Anastacia

She sits in her corner
Singing herself to sleep
Wrapped in all of the promises
That no one seems to keep
She no longer cries to herself,
No tears left to wash away
Just diaries of empty pages,
Feelings gone astray
But she will sing

'Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
'Till everything burns

Ooh, oh

Walking through life unnoticed
Knowing that no one cares
Too consumed in their masquerade
No one sees her there
And still she sings

'Till everything burns
While everyone screams
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
All of this hate
And all of this pain
Burn it all down
As my anger reigns

'Till everything burns
Everything burns
(Everything burns)
Everything burns
Watching it all fade away
(All fade away)
Everyone screams
Everyone screams..
(Watching it all fade away)
Oooh, ooh..
(While everyone screams)
Burning their lies
Burning my dreams
(All of this hate)
And all of this pain
I'll burn it all down
As my anger reigns
Til everything burns
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away
(Oooh, ooh)
(Everything burns)
Watching it all fade away... 

I feel strange listening to this song, especially paying attention to the words.  I think it is a wonderful song and it strikes deep into my soul.  I guess because I feel like I am burning all that pain and anger that I have inside me.  I want to burn it all to the ground and start over, with a new life.  I will break free from the chains that bind me and my spirit will arise, free, at peace and happy.  I will shed the old life and only keep it as a distant memory.

I will move on.  I promise myself.
 
     

(Want Me To Remember?)

 
Piiiieeee   
02:38pm 05/03/2008
 
mood: craving
I have this horrible craving for cherry pie. I think they sell some at one of the bigger grocery stores in town, in the center, but I don't want to drag my butt all the way to the center, just for cherry pie that I don't need in the first place.

X_x I'm almost dreaming of cherry pie.
 
     

(2 Tears Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
What is it with Age?   
11:58am 04/03/2008
 
mood: Argh
Something I have noticed most of my life but I seem to notice even more as I get older is...

1. People saying someone is "too old" for something.
2. Just because you are a certain age, all of a sudden you become some foreign alien that younger people can't seem/don't want to relate to.

Whose right is it to say that I or anyone else for that matter is "too old" to be doing something? Okay I can think of some extremes, like you suck your thumb and you are 30 or use a bottle or something like that. But then again, it's their choice right, even if it might seem a little weird.

Some people think it is strange that I run around on a 3D chat program playing and having a good time. Or that I still like to watch cartoons or wear certain kinds of clothing. Or the fact that I still love to run outside and play in the snow/rain. Who says just because I am 30-40-50-100 that I can't do those things? I am overall the person I was 10 years ago when all those things were still considered normal. Now I'm getting too old for them? What the.... is up with that?

I also don't understand this mentality that just because you are a certain age, married or even have kids that your life should be so drastically different for someone younger, single, etc. Yes there are differences but I can find huge differences between two people of the same age even.

I go to penpal sites and see so many people saying that they only want to write to people around their age, young and old alike, though it seems a little more commonly mentioned by younger ones. I was 15 when I started penpaling and I wrote to everyone of every age, still do. I never based anything in friendship on a persons age but simply on how we got along and if I felt they were a decent person. Why should it matter if someone is 1 year or 10 years older than you?

Now I do understand with some kids who are under age. Maybe their parents don't want them talking to people much older than they are and some people will bring up predators on the internet. So I can understand some what being cautious with kids. I will not initiate writing to someone under 18. If they write me first, then I will gladly write back.

I bet if you took my list of interests and compared it with a list of interests of someone half my age, there would still be a lot in common. The differences of interest wouldn't be because of age so much as because every human being is different, with different tastes.

Now days I write someone 10 years younger than me and they are talking about "Oh you are so much older than me but you still seem interesting." Waaaaa? Just because I am 30, I shouldn't be interesting anymore or have anything in common with you? O_o

I just don't get it. >_
 
     

(2 Tears Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
It's seriously SL photo OD now...   
02:31pm 23/02/2008
 
mood: SPLUT
I've been extremely photo obsessed in SL lately. @_@ You don't even want to know how many photos I have taken these last couple of days. You can just see for yourself behind the cut here )

Oi.... O_o
 
     

(1 Tear Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Playing with Dollie   
09:21pm 19/02/2008
 
mood: amused
Dollie fun at Grims. Man that place is just fun! xD

Piccies Here )
 
     

(Want Me To Remember?)

 
SL Photo Spam xD   
09:33am 18/02/2008
 
mood: crazy
Jubie is going to make me turn my LJ into a dump for SL photos... 3 posts in a row now of pictures! Jubie what are you doing to me!?!?!?!?!?! LOL

Image Heavy Cut )

Drowned yet in pictures? xD
 
     

(1 Tear Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Lurves you two!   
11:57am 17/02/2008
 
mood: Weeeeee
For my Cupcake bunneh Queen and her Blind foxxie. <33333333


 
     

(1 Tear Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun   
04:58pm 15/02/2008
 
mood: energetic
And what do Jubi and I spend the day doing when we are on SL together? (imagines behind the cut, warning BIG lol)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun )
 
     

(1 Tear Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
...   
09:27pm 11/02/2008
  I need a place to call my own, a place to call home, where I feel I belong and am welcomed with open arms by those around me.  
     
 
Mahbraincanttakeitanymore XD   
10:03pm 25/11/2007
  I really must stop watching Visual Kei bands. My mind is beginning to seriously get an overdose of ideas. X_x I never knew how much I would love Visual Kei. XD *needs more DVD's now of Visual Kei bands she likes*  
     

(Want Me To Remember?)

 
Buck-Tick - Alice in Wonder Underground   
09:28am 16/11/2007
  I just had to share this song with friends. OMGosh It makes me SO happy, I can't stop listening to it on my album. :D I am so glad I bought this album with the special DVD addition.


 
     

(2 Tears Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Early Christmas   
08:56am 16/11/2007
 
mood: bouncy
GrefTek and I decided to give each other our Christmas presents early this year since the rush of Christmas is always horrible. So we got GrefTek an 8GB iPod Nano and I have been ordering random items from the internet. Mainly music either in CD or DVD form and one anime DVD. I'm so happy with everything I am bouncing in my chair. D:

Someone help me before I fall off! XD
 
     

(2 Tears Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Bored Queen and her Doll   
06:21am 11/11/2007
 
mood: amused
Jubatajuno and I had a great time running around SL today and we found these cheap thrones! But the poor Bunny Queen and her Doll were quickly bored with being worshiped by their subjects. D:


 
     

(6 Tears Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Taken From Kirrazz   
10:36am 02/11/2007
  Because I am bored and need to stay awake...

If you comment on this post, I will choose seven interests from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are interested in them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so that others can play along.
 
     

(2 Tears Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
My Experience With the Writing Workshop   
04:07pm 21/05/2007
 
mood: determined
I attended a Writing Workshop this weekend over "The Novel". It explored the in's and out's of novel writing and the troubles writers face when trying to write a novel. The workshop is tailored to each group which means that if needed you can spend more or less time discussing certain subjects.

I found it to be extremely helpful. I gained so much knowledge from that weekend that the information is oozing out of my brain! I could re-take that workshop a few times before I manage to get everything out of it.

That being said, I also felt out of place and it was a real challenge for me. The workshop is for all levels of writer from beginning to someone who's been published over and over. Most people there were far above my knowledge level. I felt like a 12 year old sitting with a bunch of knowledgeable adults.

On the first day we were given a sentence in which one word was left out, we had to fill in the word and then continue writing a story from that sentence. We were given about 2 minutes, then the instructor stopped us, we continued on for a while with class before she had us go back and scan what we had written finding a word or phrase that stuck out and then writing from that word/phrase. We did this a few times.

Sunday she read aloud the unedited pieces we had written. Everyone's sounded so beautiful especially being a first draft. Then mine came along and I was so embaressed, I'm glad everything was read annonymously. Even for me that piece was horrible. The workshop tries to promote your strengths. The instructor gave insight into the strong points of everyone's piece but after she read mine, she just had to explain that she thought it was leading where it ended up leading to. Never gave any positive or negative feedback. Which leaves me wondering "Was it really that awful?"

I know I am a newbie writer, I make all the newbie writer mistakes, I have a lot to learn, perhaps things I should have learned years ago even but I am just learning them now. I struggle with my self confidence and insecurity. The stopped me from doing anything for years. I was just too afraid of rejection or failure to even start to try something. I'm trying to overcome that but the workshop proved difficult in that manner too. Today I am very exhausted emotionally from trying to not let my brain run to wild with the thoughts of "Am I good enough?" "Did it my writing suck that badly?" "Should I bother going on?" All this internal dialogue does is beat me down which is the last thing I need to do.

Now I know not everyone will like my writing, some because it is not their genre, some because it is not their writing style, others just because it doesn't interest them. Thats fine, everyone has their own opinion, even I, it doesn't really mean a writer or piece is good/bad just a person's individual taste. I don't want to fail and stop this book before it's finished just because of self doubt or the fact that someone doesn't like it. If 100 people read it and only 5 enjoy it, that is still 5 people that enjoyed it, right?

So I have to push forward through the muck and the mud, I will come out victorious in the end even if it means the battle will rage on.
 
     

(Want Me To Remember?)

 
Joy   
08:17am 12/04/2007
 
mood: sick
Well it is just 5 days before the wedding and I have a full blown cold. X_x This is going to be interesting.
 
     

(5 Tears Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Pornalizer   
03:20pm 03/04/2007
 
mood: amused
Oh man, GrefTek showed me this link for your porn name. LOL I know there are lots of them but it's just always amuzing to me. X_x

http://www.sinner.se/pornalizer/female.html

My pornalizer name is Chesty Cheeks X_x ROFL
 
     

(1 Tear Fell For You | Want Me To Remember?)

 
Need Inspiration   
03:03pm 03/03/2007
 
mood: creative

I think I figured out something I need in order to help me get a bit more focused with my writing.  I need to surround myself with inspiration.  Like the right kind of music to set the mood (that always helps) but also I should display things from the world I am creating.

I've made a little world map and I should just put it in a frame and display it somewhere around my desk where I can see it when I'm writing and a friend of mine is working on a commission piece for me, once that is done I can display it as well and she had done a few other pieces too with other characters of mine or hers that, when I see them, give me inspiration to do more.

I'm not sure what else might help in inspiring me though but I know the way my desk and surroundings are now, it's not inspiring at all.  It just looks like a computer desk in a cluttered computer room.  I need to turn part of it into my personal space where I feel comfortable enough to let my imagination run away with itself.

 
     

(Want Me To Remember?)